Recycled Air

“Here. Where I am anonymous and alone in a white room with no history and no parading. So I can make something unknown in the shape of this room. Where I am king of Corners. And Robin who drained my body of its fame when I wanted to find that fear of certainties I had when I first began to play, back when I was unaware that reputation made the room narrower and narrower and narrower, till you were crawling on your own back, full of your own echoes, till drinking in only your recycled air. And Robin And Jaelin brought me back to that open fright with the unimportant objects.”

Here. This moment. Now. Who I am right now and my beliefs at this given time.

Buddy Bolden finds himself reflecting on himself, right then and there. Anonymous, he is protected from judgment and finds himself in a white room with no history and no parading (ie. no social standards, former bias, or need to be a certain person). He, in this scenario, is in his Utopic state of uncaring.

Fame is something that is a part of his life, and apparently, he used to harbor many uncertainties and hesitations before fame had built him up, one ego level and supercilious point at a time. Not only that, but he had yet to know (until from his own personal experience) that fame makes people pale in comparison to you, until you’re this huge work of art made to be praised and admired and glorified. But then you’re so secluded in your grade-A Star world that there’s only enough space for you to walk so casually on. It gets to the point where you’re so special that you’re seen as a prize to be conquered or an ideal to gain. Nobody understands you and then you’re so secluded and miles away from the rest of humanity, that you’re only breathing your own recycled air.

Because no one is there to breathe it with you.

Fame gets to people. In more ways than one. It isolates people, it depresses them, it is a huge gift that comes with hazardous side-effects.

It’s meant to be taken step by step while trying to not let it take you over.

To not destroy you completely.

Too bad Buddy didn’t follow the rules.